My birthday is this weekend and I’m turning the big 4-0! So today I want to share 40 things I learned in 40 years living unconventionally and childfree. These lessons reflect my unique journey and hopefully inspire you to embrace your own unconventional story.
In my 20s, I was all about exploration.
It was a time filled with new experiences, from trying out different jobs to navigating relationships that taught me what I wanted (and didn’t want) in a partner. I was learning to stand on my own two feet, but it was messy and chaotic. It was okay not to have everything figured out; that’s part of the journey.
Then came my 30s, which were all about healing and self-discovery.
This decade pushed me to confront my past and seek therapy, which became a game-changer. Therapy isn’t just for crises; it’s a powerful tool for anyone looking to understand themselves better and navigate life’s complexities.
I was adjusting from an abusive relationship to a healthy one.
In my 30s, I learned the importance of shedding toxic relationships and habits that no longer served me. It was a time for reflection, where I reassessed my values and made conscious choices about who and what I allowed into my life. This process of “shedding” helped me let go of burdens that weighed me down, making space for growth and positivity.
My health went to shit, then my Nana, my childhood dog, and mom all passed away within 3 years of each other. The grief has slowly gotten a little better to navigate, but it tends to be the worst on birthdays and holidays. This taught me life is short so you may as well live it each day you like. No “what if’s” later.
I also discovered that emotional well-being is crucial during this transformative phase. The emotional roller coaster of adulthood can be intense, but amazing, supportive people around me have provided a space to unpack those feelings and develop coping strategies. It became clear that prioritizing mental health is just as important as physical health.
And now? Welcome to my 40s—the “No Fucks Left” era!
This is where I’ve decided that life is too short to worry about what others think. If it doesn’t serve me or bring me joy, get outta here. I’m all about being myself and living unapologetically.
The lessons from my past have guided me forward. I’ve learned to embrace uncertainty, trust my gut, and prioritize experiences over material possessions.
Each lesson has been a stepping stone leading me to this moment—a moment where I’m the person I need to be for this next chapter of my business and life.
As I celebrate this milestone, I hope these lessons resonate with you, encouraging you to embrace your own unconventional journey!
1. Embrace Uncertainty
Life is unpredictable, and I’ve learned to ride the waves. Embracing uncertainty opens doors to unexpected opportunities.
2. Question Norms
Don’t accept societal expectations blindly. Challenge the norms that don’t resonate with you; it’s liberating. Does something not align with your values? Then don’t do it.
3. Prioritize Experiences Over Possessions
Memories last longer than material things. Invest in experiences that enrich your life rather than accumulating stuff. Simply going for a walk, doing daily errands, or going on a road trip, stop to live in the moment.
4. Value Authenticity
Being true to yourself attracts the right people into your life. Authenticity fosters deeper connections. If someone else isn’t being true to themselves, keep an eye out for red flags.
5. Fail Forward
Every failure is a stepping stone to success. Learning from mistakes is crucial for personal growth. Just because something didn’t turn out the way you wanted, means you can learn from it and do better next time.
6. Trust Your Gut
Intuition often knows what logic cannot explain. Listen to your inner voice; it can guide you well. Logic is important but it’s also there to keep you safe. Listen past it to what you know deep inside.
For example, all along I knew WHO I wanted to work with, but it took a long time for me to figure out WHAT I could do that I enjoyed and they also needed. Now I’m unstoppable and the flow comes more easily.
7. Say No More Often
Protect your time and energy; it’s your most valuable resource. Learning to say no can be empowering. The more you say it, the easier it gets. You’ll only get push back because you’re changing and others are upset they can’t walk all over you.
8. Cultivate Persistence
Life will throw curveballs; bounce back stronger each time. Persistence is key to getting back up when overcoming challenges.
9. Live with Intention
Make choices that align with your values and goals. Intentional living leads to a more fulfilling life. Which is what I talk about on this channel.
10. Seek Discomfort
Growth happens outside your comfort zone; embrace challenges as opportunities for development. For example, talking on camera or going to networking events, etc.
11. Invest in Relationships
Quality connections enrich your life more than anything else. Nurture relationships that uplift you. It took a long time for me to find people who genuinely wanted to be friends and put in the effort to build those relationships.
12. Practice Gratitude
Acknowledging what you have shifts your perspective positively, fostering contentment and joy. It’s ok to want to want more, just be grateful for what you do have and how far you’ve come.
13. Stay Curious
Never stop learning; curiosity fuels creativity and innovation. Explore new ideas and experiences.
14. Let Go of Perfectionism
You’re a human, not a robot and humans make mistakes and aren’t perfect. Which is great in an AI world now. Striving for perfection can hinder progress; focus on progress instead of an unattainable ideal.
15. Be Kind, Not Nice
Kindness is genuine; niceness can be a performance. Authenticity over superficiality in interactions, always.
16. Create Your Own Luck
Action and effort creates opportunities that often come from hard work and preparation; make your own luck.
17. Challenge Your Beliefs
Regularly reassess what you believe to avoid stagnation and foster personal growth.
18. Balance Passion with Practicality
Follow your passion, but also consider if it’s actually attainable in achieving your goals.
19. Make Time for Play
Having fun is essential for creativity and mental health; don’t neglect it in the pursuit of productivity. Pick up a hobby you used to love.
20. Savor Small Wins
Celebrate every achievement, no matter how small; they absolutely count and contribute to overall progress, confidence, and motivation.
21. Mindful Spending
For me, financial health comes down to this: not buying crap unless I absolutely need it. And when I treat myself (because, let’s be real, we all need those little joys), it’s with a budget in mind—whether that’s for going out for coffee, buying books, or snagging a new video game. Be sure to consult a financial professional for your own needs, this is just my experience.
22. Dare to Be Different
Embrace what makes you unique; it sets you apart from the crowd and adds value to the world. Besides, if everyone was the same, people would be boring.
23. Practice Mindfulness
Being present enhances your experiences and reduces stress; mindfulness fosters peace of mind. Whatever that means to you.
24. Don’t Fear Change
If there’s one thing we can always count on, it’s that change is a constant. Adapt and thrive in new circumstances rather than resisting them.
25. Learn to Let Go
Holding onto past grievances weighs you down; release them for peace of mind and emotional freedom. It’s not to help them, it’s for you.
26. Follow Your Curiosity, Not Trends
What interests you will lead to fulfilling paths, while trends are often fleeting fads and can lead to burnout.
27. Be a Lifelong Learner
Education doesn’t end with school; seek knowledge throughout life to stay relevant and engaged. As of this video, I’m studying for my Project Management certification to level up my productivity skills and support more clients.
28. Trust the Process
Progress takes time; patience is key to achieving long-term goals. This is easier said than done, but nothing happens overnight and everyone starts from scratch.
29. Find Joy in the Journey
The process is as important, if not more, as the destination; enjoy every step along the way for a richer experience.
30. Be Open to New Perspectives
Different viewpoints can broaden your understanding and empathy towards others’ experiences.
31. Create Boundaries
Boundaries are the bodyguard to protecting your energy and time is essential for mental well-being. Set clear boundaries with others – in life and business.
32. Pursue What Sets Your Soul on Fire
Follow passions that ignite excitement and fulfillment in your life instead of societal expectations. Not all passions need to be turned into a business either.
33. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself during tough times; everyone struggles at some point—you’re not alone in this journey.
34. Embrace Less
Less clutter, less stress, more creativity, and a clearer understanding of what truly matters. It’s about intentionally creating space for what lights you up.
35. Stay True to Your Values
Let your values guide your decisions, no matter what others think.
36. Give Back to Others
Helping others enriches your life and fosters community connections that are invaluable over time. This can be donating items, your time, or money.
37. Explore New Cultures
Traveling and experiencing different cultures expand your worldview and understanding of humanity’s diversity. And oh is it beautiful. Growing up, I had the privilege of going to Europe and traveling ¾ of the US. I’ll never forget the things I learned and the people I met.
38. Take Risks Wisely
Bold moves can lead to amazing rewards! Don’t shy away from calculated risks entirely, but assess them carefully first. Taking risks is part of what Entrepreneurship is all about.
39. Be Grateful for Challenges
Shit happens but they often lead to growth and perseverance you didn’t know you had within you—embrace them as teachers!
40. It’s Never Too Late to Start Over
Reinventing yourself at any age is possible—embrace new beginnings without fear or hesitation!
Life is about making choices that reflect who you are in this current chapter of life! It can be messy and beautiful.
Share 1 life lesson you have below.